Box 13 - Last Will and Nursery Rhyme

Dan Holiday receives a letter in his Box 13 from an old college friend, Ted Kenworth. The letter reads "Dan, I'm inviting you up to Fair Oaks to spend the last weekend with me. Forget your Box 13 gag for a while and grab yourself a little vacation. There's not much I can offer in the way of excitement or adventure, but if you'll really go any place or do anything, you'll like seeing the crumbling grandeur of the last of the Kenworth's. You know how to get here and I'll be waiting. How about it? Signed, Ted". Susie says "I think you should go, Mr. Holiday. You need a rest" Dan says "Oh, Susie, every time I go for a rest, something happens to me". Susie says "But what can happen at a nice quiet place like Fair Oaks? From what your friend Ted says about it, it's just the spot to take it easy". Dan says "Okay, Susie, you talked me into it. Forward my mail to Fair Oaks, care of Ted Kenworth". Later that evening, Dan arrived at Fair Oaks, a large stately mansion that his friend Ted had inherited from his uncle, Thaddeus Kenworth. Dan parked his car on the driveway and Ted came out to greet him. As they walked into the home, Ted says "I'm glad you came, Dan. I've been wanting to have you up here for a long time, but I guess I never got around to it. Dan says "Hey, what do you do for space here? Suppose you have house full of guests and you've only got twenty rooms?" Ted says "Yeah, well don't worry. I won't have it long". Dan asks "What do you mean?" Ted says "Come on in here. It's the only room with chairs. I'm selling Fair Oaks, Dan". He says "You're kidding". Ted says "No, I wish I was. I can't keep this place up". Dan says "You're broke?" Ted says "I'm flatter than last week's pancake". Dan says "But I thought you inherited..." Ted says "The money from Uncle Thaddeus? No, not a thin dime". Dan says "Oh now, wait a minute, he had a thousand bucks for every breath he took". Ted says "Did he? I'm telling you, all he left me was this house". Dan says "Are you sure? It doesn't seem right. Wasn't he a millionaire?" Ted says "Uh-huh". Dan says "So, where's his money?" Ted says "It seems to be all gone".