Night Beat - I Wish You Were Dead

Randy was in a bad mood as he walked down Michigan Avenue on his way to work. It was five o'clock in the afternoon and nothing was ahead for him except another night at the office. Feeling like a school kid playing hooky, he turned toward a landscaped area in front of the Art Museum and sat down on the end of a bench. Sitting on the other end was a thin, little old man whom was staring at a pigeon perched on the fountain. Randy was beginning to feel persecuted like he was the only one in the whole wide city who had to go to work in a nice lazy day. Suddenly, Randy hears the words "I wish you were dead". At first, he didn't know where the voice came from, as there was no one behind him. There was no one around, except the little guy at the other end of the bench. Randy says "You know, that's not a very nice thing to say to somebody you don't even know". The little old man says "I'm sorry, I didn't think you heard me". Randy says "Certainly, I heard you. Why would you wish a thing like that on me?" The little old man says "Oh, but I didn't mean you, not at all, because if I did you would now be dead". Randy says "You mean I would be dead?" The little old man says "It's terrible, just terrible". Randy says "Well, if it wasn't me you just said that to, then who was it?" The man says "It was the pigeon. The one that was on the fountain". Randy asks "And what happened to the pigeon?" The man says "He died". Randy says "The pigeon died?" The man says "Oh yes. It'll happen every time. I'll get the bird and show you. You see? It's dead all right, perfectly dead". Randy says "Oh, now look mister, uh ... " The man says "Fettle, is my name". Randy says "Stone is my name, Randy Stone. I guess I'll be running along". Mr. Fettle says "Oh, I thought perhaps you could help me, Mr. Stone. You look like the kind of person who would understand. You see, it's something I can't tell to just anyone". Randy says "Well, get rid of the dead bird, and I'll listen to your story".